We offer this reassurance when we see our littles falling apart at the slightest little thing like their sock is "off" to big things like a faceplant. It comes out almost unknowingly- as an instinctual reaction.

We want them to know they'll be okay! 

But the problem is, they aren't. Currently.

Telling a child that isn't okay that they are seems innocent enough, but as a child internalizes that message, they are being taught not to trust their own feelings.  That their experiences aren't real. That their instincts are off. OR if they're strong-willed, they internalize it as ...

"My caregiver doesn't GET IT. I must keep telling them over & over in different ways or even more dramatic ways until they GET IT!" 

Either way they feel misunderstood, which is a crappy way to feel. 

What to say instead? 

Validate how they DO feel in that moment. 

--"You are telling me you are NOT okay!"
--"You must feel so sad you fell down & got hurt!"
--"UGH, that sock is so frustrating!"
--"I can tell by your face you're feeling MAD!"

That validation leads to awareness, which leads to acceptance, which leads to coping mechanisms, which leads to emotional regulation & restoration. THEN- you can label & encourage when they feel "OKAY" again! 


Is your little "NOT OKAY" a lot lately?! 

What do you do when they're losing their mind?!

Download your FREE PDF Guide helping you walk them step-by-step back to CALM-




Download a FREE printable affirmation for parenting in survival mode as well as a daily checklist to ensure you spend your time focusing on what really MATTERS.