Time outs, spanking, grounding, bribes, rewards... they all work toward the same end goal of changing future behavior. At the surface, this is what parenting seems to be all about.
We use our authority to mold them into a responsible, kind, contributing member of society.
When leveraging our power over their behavior without connection, our attention & affection are no longer compelling to our child, breeding resentments & rebellion. And so, we may feel there is no option but to turn to heavy-handed tactics to “make” our kids behave.
All behavior is a form of communication that's our responsibility to decipher.
At best, these approaches in isolation are reactive and superficial as they attempt to deal merely with behavior, rather than seeking to uncover the hurt, unmet need or lacking skill a child is trying to communicate, elevating obedience over true learning.
Asking a generation of parents to turn everything they know about parenting upside down is no simple request. It brings up so many questions -
I'd love to dive into this more... What thoughts does this bring up for you?