I just got done with a group fitness class that kicked my butt. They always do and always have, since I discovered a beautiful gem Omaha has to offer - Emmy Smith.
Emmy taught classes at Well Mama when I worked out there, and never in my ADULT life have I worked out as hard as I do when she's teaching. I've always worked out, but she has a reputation for setting up very challenging workouts. So, why would I subject myself to this misery?!
This post is not just to brag about how big of a #fangirl I am of Emmy. As I was leaving class this morning, I realized how great of an example her leadership is of how I want to parent my kids. 💖 The relationship I have built with her drives my work-ethic & encourages me to keep coming back and want to do well, surprising both her & myself when I am able to keep going.
I talk a lot in my classes & with clients about how influential our relationship is with our kids when we're invested & connected with them. In the same way as we work harder for a "good boss" at work vs. a micromanaging, undermining boss, our kids are influenced by the adult relationships which meet their underlying needs the most- of being seen, known, loved, safe, in control, and taught. 💫
Remind our kids how we see them - capable, persistent, strong & then give them opportunities to BE it! Be their #1 fan but let them rise to the occasion! Allowing our kids to actually DO the thing rather than just be told they can do it is what actually creates healthy self-confidence & an intrinsic motivation to keep trying when things get hard.
Our kids need to know we are doing the things we're asking them to do. We strive to exemplify the people who have the life we want. When our kids watch us take risks, work hard, take responsibility, be humble & admit our mistakes & try again the next day, they learn more through our actions than our words. Whatever you're trying to teach your kids, master it yourself first. You can't teach what you don't know.
They really are doing the best they can with what they have. They want to please us- they're wired to! They are working really hard to program their brain, learn the language, drum up impulse control from nothing, and gain every skill necessary to navigate conflict & assert their own opinions appropriately. It doesn't come all in one day. Give them grace when they fail, and give yourself grace too. Then, celebrate the wins! 🎉