Parenting Styles & the 3 Factors that MATTER

Then there's all the "new" styles making headway-

❤️ Respectful parenting

🧡 Gentle Discipline

💛 Conscious parenting

💚 Positive Discipline

💙 Attachment parenting

It's A LOT. How are you supposed to know what's the best fit for your family?

Honestly, I use aspects of ALL of those. But the image above is taken from Angela Duckworth's research compiled in her book, GRIT: the Power of Passion & Perseverance.

Research shows the best outcomes for kids come from 3 foundational aspects that make up her definition of "WISE" parenting:

WARM, RESPECTFUL, & DEMANDING

"Teens with warm, respectful, and demanding parents earned higher grades in school, were more self-reliant, suffered from less anxiety and depression, and were less likely to engage in delinquent behavior. The same pattern replicates in nearly every nation that’s been studied and at every stage of child development. Longitudinal research indicates that the benefits are measurable across a decade or more." - Angela Duckworth

Another way to put it - KIND, FIRM, with HIGH EXPECTATIONS 

Also, one of the major discoveries of parenting research is that what matters more than the messages parents aim to deliver are the messages their children receive.

Ask, or imagine asking your kids how much they agree with these statements, which are indicators of each area:

🌟 WARM:

☑️ My parents spend time just talking to me.
☑️ My parents and I do things that are fun together.
☑️ I can count on my parents to help me out if I have a problem.
Counter-statements-
🚫 My parents don’t really like me to tell them my troubles.
🚫 My parents hardly ever praise me for doing well.

🌟 RESPECTFUL:

☑️ My parents believe I have a right to my own point of view.
☑️ My parents respect my privacy.
☑️ My parents give me a lot of freedom.
Counter-statements-
🚫 My parents make most of the decisions about what I can do.
🚫 My parents tell me that their ideas are correct and that I shouldn’t question them.

🌟 DEMANDING:

☑️ My parents really expect me to follow family rules.
☑️ My parents expect me to do my best even when it’s hard.

☑️ My parents point out ways I could do better.
Counter-statements-
🚫 When I do something wrong, my parents don’t punish me.
🚫 My parents really let me get away with things.
(taken from GRIT: the Power of Passion & Perseverance)

Perfect parenting is NEVER the goal, but if you sense a gap in messaging, ASK FOR HELP! 

We all want what's best for our kids & that requires having as many tools in our tool kits as possible!